Tonight was a turning point. You see, I've always been awesome at starting things. I gain energy, inspiration, and excitement when something is new and different. Then when the newness wears off I get bored and cranky and I'm looking for the next challenge.
Tonight at class I hit a breaking point. I had nothing left. I had burned through my fuel and there weren't even fumes left to run on. I was forcefully pushed out of my comfort zone, and it hurt, in more ways than one.
For some reason though, at the moment when I always give up, something welled up out of my guts and came out as something like defiance and an absolute refusal to stop or rest or give in. Something that said "Learn. Fight. Win. And sooner than you think, you won't be the newest, the weakest, the least skilled. You will be strong, you will be skilled, and you will finally, win."
So from being sprawled out on the mat emotionally and physically, I pulled myself together and finished. When there was nothing left to finish with, I finished something. It was messy, a little embarrassing, and I definitely didn't win. But no matter, because I finished.
It's times like this that you will eventually draw upon for strength. You pushed yourself to a new limit and when you are faced in a similar situation, you will be able to draw upon pushing yourself in training and say to yourself, i survived training, i can survive this.
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