Chugga Chugga

That's my impression of a choo choo train, which is what I feel like right about now!

The season of everything being new and unfamiliar is over and I feel like I've entered a new phase. I'm seeing dots (which is an improvement), but I can't connect them all to form a picture quite yet. Every once in a while I manage to connect one or two, but then am stopped by a gulf so wide I wonder if I'll ever be able to connect them all!

That's where the train comes in. I know just enough now to know how much is left to learn. The landscape can be totally overwhelming, but I have to just 'stay on track' and trust that eventually I'll be able to get to the next stop. In my mind, that means a breakthrough. Breakthroughs are great because they give you just enough fuel to make it to the next stop.

Okay, enough with the word pictures.

Thanks everyone!

AS

Raw

I have begun my fouth month as a BJJ student. The longer I study this beautiful martial art the more I see interesting parallels between it and a good relationship. In this case I'm thinking of my husband, but it could be anyone that you are close with.

For instance, in order to be successful at all in BJJ you have to be willing to be completely vulnerable. Every time I walk onto the mat I expect to end up hurt and beaten. That is not negative thinking, that is just plain ol' realism. Of course, these beatings are occasionally followed by brief moments of joy when I magically (or accidentally) perform an armbar or kimora; but these moments are few and far between. I have essentially developed an expectation of failure, and yet for some reason I and many others continue to give everything we've got on the mat and experience that failure over and over again. Is that all that different from being vulnerable to your friends, family, or spouse? I submit to you (pun intended) that it is impossible to love anyone without becoming vulnerable to them. Yet we do so anyway, because the rewards of a healthy and vibrant relationship are TOTALLY WORTH IT. And this is true of BJJ as well. The rewards of allowing myself to become vulnerable on the mat are worth every bruise, scrape, headache, backache, neckache, and sleepless night. Rewards that include a sense of pride unmatched by anything else I have accomplished,  a sense of strength that goes beyond the physical and permiates into the deepest parts of my soul and spirit, and a sense of belonging that I have experienced in no other avenue.

Another parallel you might draw between BJJ and a good relationship is that it exposes both the strongest and the weakest parts of your personality. Even starting this venture highlights one of my strengths, and that is that I refuse to be intimidated by something unkown or seemingly dangerous...and/or stupid. Walking into a gym full of buff dudes who looked like they could crush me with their little finger was hard, but I did it, and I keep doing it. On the other side of that optomistic coin, it has also shown me in sharper detail a definite weakness that I have struggled with my entire life, and that is an unwillingness to FINISH things. When I get tired from rolling I tend to just, stop. I've never had to push myself really hard to finish anything. Even growing up, having not been involved with any team sports or any thing like that, I didn't learn how to be accountable to other people. If I am only accountable to myself it is easy to justify any decision. Like, "I'm going to leave 10 minutes early tonight so I can have time to wind down and get a good night's sleep". Well, yes, that is very reasonable. However, it requires leaving class 10 minutes early and it's a convenient little way of avoiding the pain of pushing to the end. Obviously I have identified this particular weakness and am currently working on some strategies to strengthen that area.

And like any good relationship, the better you get, the further you realize you have to go. There is no 'end'. There is always, always, always going to be someone better than me in this sport. Always. But that's no reason to quit!

Let's keep on keepin' on, folks!

Thanks for reading,

AS:)

Honeymoon?

I love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. No, scratch that. I am in love with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. In fact, I am passionately in love with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Like any new lover, I find it hard to stop talking about it, thinking about it, and wanting to learn all there is to know about it.

I find myself apologizing to my very patient husband for enthusiastically showing off every bruise and every raw patch of skin on my feet. Yesterday, when someone casually asked me about it I told them, "oh please don't ask, I will not shut up". And then proceeded to lovingly describe the history of BJJ and when, how, and why I became interested.

When someone asked me how my Judo was coming along, I smiled and said, "I wouldn't know, I don't train in Judo," and felt as if they had accused me of cheating.

I started this blog because I want everyone to know HOW MUCH I LOVE BJJ. It is my equivalent of shouting it off a rooftop.

When will the honeymoon be over? Never, I hope. For like any good lover, I just hope that it gets better and better. And better.

What do you love? What are you passionate about? What makes you feel like you would do ANYthing to accomplish a goal? What gets you up in the morning? Please leave a comment, I want to know.

Thanks for reading, folks!

AS:)

PROGRESS! -- and my first video :)

So in the last week and a half I've gotten my first two submissions. One armbar and one kimora. One on a guy who's been training on and off for a couple of years, and the kimora on a dude even newer than me! It shouldn't count but he's actually pretty good so I'm counting it.

Last night I got the first video of myself. Besides the fact that my hair looks shorter than it feels and my rear-end looks bigger in those capris than I thought...it's not a bad video ;)

Let me set it up. My rolling pahd-nah there (partner for those of you who did not grow up in the midwest or south) is in the guard position. His goal is to control me with his legs and try to position himself to perform a submission. My ENTIRE goal at this point, especially as a complete newbie, is to just get past his legs. It's called 'passing'. Stay with me folks, I know this stuff is complicated.

If I can get past his legs into side control, meaning that I control him from the side (I told you this stuff is complicated!), I will be in a better position submit him. The video actually runs out before an even cooler part where I got him in a decent choke. ANYway.

So here ya go. Copy and paste the link into your browser and it should go to my google page where you can play the video. It's 1-minute long and most of the action takes place near the end.

https://picasaweb.google.com/105558444651820709081/BJJ?authkey=Gv1sRgCLT09JCws9rghAE

THANK you for reading, folks!

AS :)

When There's Nothing Left

Tonight was a turning point. You see, I've always been awesome at starting things. I gain energy, inspiration, and excitement when something is new and different. Then when the newness wears off I get bored and cranky and I'm looking for the next challenge.

Tonight at class I hit a breaking point. I had nothing left. I had burned through my fuel and there weren't even fumes left to run on. I was forcefully pushed out of my comfort zone, and it hurt, in more ways than one.

For some reason though, at the moment when I always give up, something welled up out of my guts and came out as something like defiance and an absolute refusal to stop or rest or give in. Something that said "Learn. Fight. Win. And sooner than you think, you won't be the newest, the weakest, the least skilled. You will be strong, you will be skilled, and you will finally, win."

So from being sprawled out on the mat emotionally and physically, I pulled myself together and finished. When there was nothing left to finish with, I finished something. It was messy, a little embarrassing, and I definitely didn't win. But no matter, because I finished.

First Miss, Boo.

I 'had' to skip class last night for the first time...just felt really yucky. Some kind of disagreeable food substance was not treating me well. I wish I could be a bit more macho about it and 'work through the pain' but the last thing I want to do is push so hard that it becomes a chore and not the most fun thing EVER.

Looking even more forward to Saturday open mat. I went last week to open mat for the first time and it was amazing. It was as if everything I had (sort of) learned up to this point had a chance to congele. Also learned and practiced how to pass a guard. THANK YOU to the brown belt instructor who proactively approached me and offered a lesson. Remind me to catch your name again this week.

Passing a guard involves scootching back as far as possible while keeping your center of gravity super low. Then jumping to a wide stance, bringing a knee under to the middle of your opponent's legs, then dropping quickly to (hopefully) break their grip. I'm on the smaller side compared to most of my practice buds so I'm lucky if I actually break the guard but I can usually get it to loosen. Then with the other leg you smush them down as much as possible and work yourself into a side-guard position. From there of course I have no idea what to do. Maybe some more congealing needs to happen to bring my offensive game up to par :)

Thanks for reading, all.

Shout-Out to Travis Conley

One of the regulars at KCBJJ is Travis Conley, who just competed in the FILA World Championships in Serbia. The following post is about his entire experience there. It's long but very worth reading. It kept my attention the whole time!

Way to go Travis,

http://www.undergroundgymllc.com/node/201